Alright, here’s a reimagined version of the article, with a human touch:
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So, I stumbled upon this game called “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator” by Upscale Studios. It’s supposed to be this fun, holiday-themed chaos with cats. And Christmas jingles. I mean, who wouldn’t think that’s a hoot, right? But, nah. Spoiler alert: it misses the mark big time. Stick with me, and I’ll try to make sense of it — or not.
Okay, picture this: you’re a cat. Naturally, your mission is to wreck grandma’s place. Yup, for real. Smash vases, scratch up the curtains while pretending you’re some royal feline, and flick heirlooms like you’re swatting annoying flies. Oh, and don’t forget eating the aquarium fish. Classic.
Did anyone else just feel like this sounds kinda fun? But, trust me, it’s not. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?
So, it starts on Christmas night. Santa – good ol’ Saint Nick – accidentally drops this mischievous cat into a home that’s already got another furball. You’re the OG cat, by the way. The new guy breaks something, blames you, and now it’s revenge time. Sounds a little like a soap opera for cats, doesn’t it?
Now here’s the task: create enough chaos to make grandma kick out the newbie. Simple, right? Except grandma’s got eyes in the back of her head, I swear. If she catches you, game over, man.
Now, here’s where things start to get weird. Technically you sneak around, whack stuff onto the floor, hide before grandma arrives, yada yada. Christmas bells ring if you break something, which is kinda cute but super annoying after a while. Imagine those bells in your sleep, I dare you.
But the game’s a bit of a mess. Like, grandma and the other cat get stuck on furniture all the freaking time. They just stand there looking lost. I couldn’t even move on ’til grandma’s anger wore off. Stuck, just like that.
And let’s talk strategy, or lack thereof. You plan some crafty mischief, the rival cat’s nearby, and then? Nothing. The game blames the wrong cat, or doesn’t even care. One time, I “won” because the rival cat just randomly got jammed in a sofa. Go figure.
Oh, another thing, the first-person view is off. Paw animations? Clunky like an old robot. And it’s like you’re playing a PS2 game with low-res graphics. Reminds me of a budget title from back in the day. Even the audio — aside from the jingles — is meh.
No Platinum trophy for trophy hunters out there, which might be a letdown for some. You can grab a few achievements here and there, but nothing groundbreaking. Sandbox Mode’s an option, though, letting you roam around without the rival. But just you and grandma? Makes me shiver.
I thought I’d get a silly Christmas romp. Nope. Barely keeps it together on a PS5. The whole framing-other-cat-for-chaos thing flops more times than it works. Not what you’d call a blast. Even for just $4.99, it’s a tough call to recommend this one.
Anyway, that’s my take. If you try it, good luck. You’ll need it.
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Disclaimer: This review’s based on a PlayStation version from Upscale Studios.