Schoolgirl in Steel: Attending Switch 2 This October

Alright, here we go.

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“They can’t have ice cream, not anymore!” Right? Just stuck with me, that bit. Anyway, back to more pressing matters—or maybe not that pressing—like, where are all those Switch 2 game announcements? Anyone else out there feeling this void? Maybe you’ve been caught daydreaming about the not-so-sunny future of Japan in 2089. I know, weird mental detour, but hang with me.

So, D3Publisher knows where our heads are at and dropped the news: Full Metal Schoolgirl hits on October 23rd. Also, what a mouthful. Yuke’s—those folks who gave us EARTH DEFENSE FORCE: World Brothers 2, remember?—are the masterminds behind it. They promise an “action-packed adventure with a heavy-duty attitude.” Whatever that actually means. Their reveal trailer does a decent job showing off the chaos, I guess. Moving on—wait, sorry, this press release deserves a rundown.

Picture this: It’s 2089, and Japan’s taken a dystopian twist. Meternal Jobz runs the place, a corporate monster churning out “Working Dead” cyborg workers—because sleep is for the weak, apparently. You, my friend, are a cyborg schoolgirl with a mission. No, not a math test, but a quest for revenge up a 100-story skyscraper filled with undead salarymen and a not-so-friendly CEO. It’s like slashing your way through a satire about late-stage capitalism. No joke.

The producer, Nobuyuki Okajima, calls it a rebellious chaos fest. Sounds exhausting but also kind of thrilling? Maybe they put it in the future just for the laughs. Hard to say.

So, in this game, you become a super-powered schoolgirl, armed to the teeth, taking on a mega-corp for, you know, justice or something. The skyscraper changes floors and traps you each time you play, because why not add a sprinkle of unpredictability to the mix? Oh, and livestreaming—did I mention you’re sharing your journey with an online audience? They cheer, you gain upgrades. It’s like getting a Twitch sponsorship but with more zombies and less coffee.

Still following? Because I barely am. Pre-orders aren’t up yet—the wait is real, folks. But hey, their website offers a bit more if you’re itching for more chaos or, like me, just a bit skeptical.