Episode 930: GameStop’s Counterintelligence Division – Radio Free Nintendo

At Radio Free Nintendo, everyone here has a soft spot for the Big Ape. It’s a kind of lore thing we’ve built up over time, especially during those old Now Playing segments — which, by the way, are gone and not making a comeback.

Anyway, thinking about it made me wonder if “The Big Ape” really fits Donkey Kong. Don’t ask me why this matters — my brain’s a maze. So, naturally, I ended up checking out the Center for Great Apes to see what makes an ape an ape.

– Hair instead of fur: Apparently, the difference is mostly about growth. Fur stops, hair keeps going. DK’s got a quiff, so that counts, right?
– Fingernails over claws: DK usually has fists clenched, but yeah, I found some art showing his fingernails.
– Thumbs that do the grabbing thing: Again, fists doing the work here.
– Big brain, big thoughts: He can tie a tie and drive stuff. Seen any marmots ride rhinos lately? Me neither.
– Handy with prehensility: Fists again.
– Padded digits with fingerprints: Um, no clue at the moment.
– Binocular vision: Good for depth perception — probably important when you’re smashing things.
– Less sniffy sense: Still a mystery.

So, seems like he checks enough boxes to be an ape. But there’s this bit from the Center for Great Apes that stands out:

People often mix up apes and monkeys. Sure, lots of differences (apes live longer, are bigger, have bigger brains), but the biggie? Apes lack tails.

Diddy Kong? Not an ape, bit of a dope, and probably won’t outlive DK. Tough break, little guy.

Oh yeah, Donkey Kong Bananza had a Direct on Wednesday. About fifteen minutes of gameplay and story bits. And guess what? DK’s sidekick is a teenage Pauline. This opens up all sorts of lore chaos about DK and Pauline’s past, which most folks have already meme’d to bits, so I’ll skip it. The key things are:

– Pauline, being human, is oddly an ape.
– Diddy still isn’t.
– Diddy’s clock ticks faster than DK’s.

Looks like DK’s on a quest to find Diddy’s successor.

James went on a good old ramble with his New Business for Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. It’s a tangle of systems and “lives” — you mine, craft, and endlessly upgrade. It’s like a crafting treadmill. Help.

After that, we needed a breather. More New Business came up. Jon’s been collecting consoles he doesn’t need anymore. He tried to trade them at GameStop to upgrade thanks to their decent offers, but wasn’t ready for Special Agent Steve from the GameStop InfoSec squad. Who knew it was such an adventure at GIS? Greg then brought us up to speed on Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX. Funny how Switch 2’s spotlighting these epic racing games with single-player angles. Mario Kart World is massive. Guillaume and James dabbled with the GameChat on Switch 2, testing titles like F-Zero GX, Mario Kart World, and Fantasy Life i. Oh, and the Switch 2 Pro Controller got some attention too.

In a bid to tackle Lister Mail this week, we’re crafting marketing pitches for companies in Mario Kart World. Hit us up with yours.

* By the way, calling DK “The Big Ape” isn’t quite right — it’s more a nickname than an epithet or nom de guerre. I’ll keep bungling these terms until I’m six feet under.