Okay, so picture this… Donald, in utter defiance, pulling Steam from his computer. Why? No clue. Just kinda happened, I guess.
So here’s the scoop on this year’s Summer Game Fest. Lots of noise as usual, especially when you cram two extra shows in there. Yeah, six hours straight. Buckle up.
Wholesome Direct? More like “Wholesome Chaos.”
Surprise! Or not, really. They dropped two games out of nowhere: Instants, a scrapbooking kind of vibe, and Squeakross: Home Squeak Home, which mixes nonograms and decorating. My brain is still spinning.
On July 10, come meet a kitten. It drills into the ground in Everdeep Aurora. I mean, what? Then there’s Islanders: New Shores, pretty much what it says. No big surprises there.
Monument Valley III? They’re sticking to the July 25 date. But get this, on the 29th, Tales of the Shire is supposed to drop. A Hobbit farming sim, if you’re into that niche.
August 21? Dive into a mildly creepy Discounty shop sim thing. And don’t get me started on Story of Seasons: Grand Bazaar—August 27 is set if nothing goes haywire.
Then there’s Is This Seat Taken? in August too. Puzzles with seating. Riveting, right?
Little Kitty, Big City is getting even more stuff. New characters, new city sections. Paws up if you’re excited.
Milano’s Odd Job Collection finally hits the West in 2025! And if you’re into surviving in woods, Winter Burrow is next year’s fix.
Confused yet? The episodic Guardian of Nature lands on Switch at some point. Episode one? Already lurking on Steam. Weird, huh?
Women Led Games Showcase: Meanwhile…
Circle June 12 for Re:Fresh—3D city rebuilding walks. Sounds relaxing. Follow up with Wander Stars on August 1. It’s a mix of anime turns and wordy battle crafting. Seriously.
Switch gets Spilled, cleaning oil spills but make it a game. Vintage vibes come January with Perfect Tides: Station to Station.
And 2026 holds the likes of Tavern Tale Stories: Dreamwalker and Out and About. Not to forget Woodo with its dollhouse aesthetics. Dates? Who’s asking?
Latin American Games Showcase and Spooky Patties
Q3 sees Chunky Jump chilling—kind of atmospheric. Shadow Sacraments: The Roots of Evil slices into Q4, splashy horror ahead.
The Requiem of Shadows is channeling Zelda come next spring. It’s like deja vu, but not.
Oh, and don’t sleep on the 2026 lineup with Bogdan’s Cross or Taios’ Journey. Some neo-noir spice in The Shadow Syndicate might also drop by next year. Again, no rush.
Multi-player chaos in Castlebound and hero swapping in Changer Seven—dates are mirages at this point.
Southeast Asia Takes a Bow
Giga Bash DLC? Yes, now. Upin and Ipin Universe gets up to something soon. Toddlers. Mischief. Need I say more?
Another round for Cat Quest III on June 26 with new tales. Plus, Until Then finally blooms into completion. Expect more updates by year’s end. Oh, joy!
And in Q4, cook up a storm in Sedup! A Culinary Adventure. By 2026-ish, chill with Coffee Talk Tokyo. It’s still… brewing.
Future Games Show: A Tech Mess
How 2 Escape: Lost Submarine surfaces on June 26. Console? Check. Smartphone? Essential. Good luck syncing that.
Call of the Elder Gods—only for Switch 2. Creepiness levels? Uncertain. Yuri “Did I spoil Persona 4?” Lowenthal’s in it though.
Lost Eidolons: Call of the Witch is “Coming Soon,” whatever that means. Agatha Christie: Death on the Nile is penciled for September.
And they dribbled some info on Constance, due to crash land on your Switches next year.
Formula Legends—reimagining F1 stories, or something like it. No ETA, obviously.
Australia/New Zealand Showcase (Hey, why so snowy?)
Misc: A Tiny Tale strides in July 22. What’s that? A little robot in a post-human world. Sounds like an epic, right?
And then there’s Microvania—all Metroid feels, late 2025. Stay tuned. Or not.
Oh, wait—Microsoft and the never-ending PC Gaming Show are up tomorrow. More announcements? God help us all.
Alright, I’ve rambled enough. Here’s hoping this wasn’t too chaotic for you. Or maybe I hope it was. Who knows.
