Okay, so here’s a weird one. That aurochs doodle? Yeah, kinda disappointing if you ask me. Seriously, when you think of cave art, like the stuff around Montignac-Lascaux, it’s mostly from the Magdalenian folks. We’re talking modern humans painting away between 20,000 and 10,000 years ago, give or take. Not saying Neanderthals weren’t scribbling on walls earlier. They could’ve been! We’ve found some of their stuff in Spain, you know. Picture handprints, dots, and… ladders? Yup, real imaginative.
Anyway—wait, where was I? Oh, right. So their art didn’t exactly scream “masterpiece,” but hey, it’s old as dirt. Makes sense it didn’t all survive, right?
I’m just throwing this out there without looking it up (except for making sure I spelled ‘Magdalenian’ and ‘Montignac-Lascaux’ right). You can almost see me daring fact-checkers with a “come at me!” glance. Yeah, this is a fully modern rant from James here, not some ancient dude with a unibrow and a flair for the dramatic. Imagine Hot Tub Time Machine but, you know, actually hilarious.
Just got the scoop from Jon, who’s been losing it over his brand-new Switch 2 from bestbuy.com, of all places. Makes you think, right? Anyway, we let him take the lead with his first impressions and dive deep into Mario Kart World. Seriously, ever feel like the universe is out to get you with all those red shells? Jon can relate, getting slammed left and right. It’s weirdly zen, if you ask me.
Oh, and there’s a new Splatoon single-player thing happening. Somewhere in the chaos of our show, we explore that. Honestly, I don’t understand this show’s logic half the time.
To save our sanity, we took a breather. And then we’re back. Guillaume’s all passionate about F-Zero GX on the new Switch service. Personally, I’m not signing up for that chaos. Dude’s got a murder streak going—he’s also blasting through Valfaris, which is all about huge guns, foes, and, you guessed it, violence.
Greg’s eyeballing Splatoon 3’s new patch for the Switch 2. Talks about HDR pop and the buttery framerate like it’s a smoothie. Seriously, Nintendo, where’s my paycheck for doing your PR?
Oh, and me? Yeah, I’ve been fiddling with Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time on the Switch 2. Time thieves, man. And not just any, but child-sized ones. Gets to you, doesn’t it? I’ve barely grazed the surface of the game, so stay tuned next week for more nonsense from yours truly. Unless… well, you know how life is.
Feel free to share your caveman doodles.
